Ebook Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting), by Pamela Druckerman
Ebook Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting), by Pamela Druckerman
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Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting), by Pamela Druckerman
Ebook Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting), by Pamela Druckerman
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Review
“Marvelous . . . Like Julia Child, who translated the secrets of French cuisine, Druckerman has investigated and distilled the essentials of French child-rearing. . . . Druckerman provides fascinating details about French sleep training, feeding schedules and family rituals. But her book's real pleasures spring from her funny, self-deprecating stories. Like the principles she examines, Druckerman isn't doctrinaire.” — NPR“Bringing Up Bébé is a must-read for parents who would like their children to eat more than white pasta and chicken fingers.” — Fox News“On questions of how to live, the French never disappoint. . . . Maybe it all starts with childhood. That is the conclusion that readers may draw from Bringing Up Bébé.” — The Wall Street Journal“French women don't have little bags of emergency Cheerios spilling all over their Louis Vuitton handbags. They also, Druckerman notes, wear skinny jeans instead of sweatpants.The world arguably needs more kids who don't throw food.” — Chicago Tribune“I’ve been a parent now for more than eight years, and—confession—I’ve never actually made it all the way through a parenting book. But I found Bringing Up Bébé to be irresistible." — Slate
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About the Author
Pamela Druckerman is a contributing opinion writer for the International New York Times and a former staff reporter for The Wall Street Journal, where she covered foreign affairs. Her work has also appeared in the Washington Post and Marie Claire. She lives in Paris.
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Product details
Paperback: 432 pages
Publisher: Penguin Books; Reprint edition (September 30, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780143122968
ISBN-13: 978-0143122968
ASIN: 0143122967
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
1,414 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#800 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This book has a good underlying principle (I call it common sense parenting), but 3/4 of the text is unnecessary. The author thinks she is very witty, but I didn't find it very funny. Reads more like a novel. I went through and highlighted relevant info for my husband (there's no way he would make it through otherwise - would have gotten bored by chapter 2), and it turned out that I only found one or two helpful bits per chapter. If there was a Cliff notes version, I would have been much happier with it.
I lived in Europe in my early twenties and spent quite a bit of time in France. I remember noticing how well behaved the kids were. Fast forward 15 years and I have a 16 month old and another baby on the way. I was thinking someone had to have written a book on the French philosophy of raising kids. This book is has great insight on that. I really enjoyed this book and it was a really easy read. I would highly recommend it.
As is the case with many books comparing American parenting styles with that of other countries, some potential readers have felt opinionated - even defensive - before even buying the book.While I certainly haven't concluded that French parenting is "right" and American parenting is "wrong", this intriguing book deserves a fair chance - one obtained by reading it - but some initial "reviews" were written by people who simply refused to read a book comparing American and French parenting techniques.So what will will you find in Bringing Up Bebe? What makes this one worth a look?To start with, the author, Pamela Druckerman, does not come off as someone who is crazy about France, let alone French parenting - at first. As she writes early on, "I'm not even sure I like living here" although she does change her tune later. She came to her opinions about French parenting slowly and she backs up her main points with plenty of research studies as well as techniques she learned from French parents and parenting authorities. As a result she concludes that "the French have managed to be involved without becoming obsessive. " They aren't waiting on their kids hand and foot and they don't assume that they have to push their children to succeed. Even so, she notes that she hadn't thought she was supposed to admire French parenting. So consider her a reluctant convert to French methods of parenting.Druckerman observes that there doesn't appear to be a relentless drive to get babies and children to various lessons or such activities as early swimming lessons. A neighbor was content to let her children simply find ways to play, often with old toys or perhaps by exploring her outdoor environment.Meals are also handled differently with set times for eating and with children being expected to exert enough self-control to wait hours in between meals. Vegetables, varied types of cheese, and other foods American kids might snub are not only served but actually eaten.Then there are the studies. They are certainly food for thought and perhaps some spirited debate. One study notes that mothers in Columbus, Ohio find child care twice as unpleasant as mothers in Rennes, France. There is the University of Texas study that concludes that French mothers aren't concerned with accelerating their children's cognitive development or academic achievement. Instead, they are comfortable with letting their kids simply be children while they still can. The author cites another study which indicates that 90 percent of fifteen-year-olds eat their main meal with their parents - compared to 67 percent of those in the United States.The author took detailed notes as she observed French parents. She learns that they expect their babies to start sleeping through the night within no more than a few months - or even in the first month. They ask Druckerman if her baby is "doing her nights" (sleeping through the night).Admittedly, a certain number don't...but a fair number do because their parents use "the Pause" , not responding immediately to a baby's cries. When Druckerman tries using "the Pause" her own baby starts sleeping through the night, although...to be fair...she does wait until her baby is more than a few months old, unlike the French parents she describes.Even infant mortality rates are lower in France, 57 percent lower than in America. There is an emphasis on a calm pregnancy and not eating too much. This doesn't mean starving but an overly obese mother isn't necessarily serving a baby's health. I won't stress this point too much because there could be many other factors that determine the possible difference in infant mortality rates between one country and another.To sum it up, the author has discovered the "wisdom" of French parenting and has written a book that seems to be aimed at imparting that wisdom to American readers. Druckerman also seems to be encouraging parents to try and change the way American parents perceive children,to not base their lives so much around the kids. To be clear, the parenting advice here is centered on children, not teenagers, as French teenagers are given more freedom but in Druckerman's view also seem to have less cause to rebel.I did have some issues with this book. The first chapter has far too much info about Druckermans' career before moving to France as well as her time meeting and dating her husband-to-be. This takes up an entire chapter. I wanted to get to the parenting observations more quickly. The book consists mostly of personal observations and Druckerman's parenting experiences which are also peppered with interviews with such people as the French "Doctor Spock" as well as other experts. I'm sure it will be controversial and from what I've seen and read it already is. Even so, this book deserves to be judged based on its contents.
I lived in France for year and had already been introduced to the books, French Women Don't Get Fat and French Kids Eat Everything so I was already a bit biased towards French culture. I did notice during my time in France that kids would sit in bars drinking milk or juice while mothers and fathers had wine and in general the kids seemed calm and even tempered. That said, I think the book offers one perspective on some of the differences between French and American children and why. I found it to be an interesting read. Her writing style is light, conversational which makes for an easy read. My big issue with the book is that she emphasizes in nearly every chapter, multiple times that she is middle class and that she is talking and gathering opinions from middle class parents. The few times it was mentioned, I just assumed it was frame to help the reader understand the groups she spoke with but she reemphasized it repeatedly throughout the book and after some time it seemed like bragging or being condescending.As well, I think she underestimated or played down some significant differences between parenting for women in France and the US. She noted the free children, free health insurance, education, etc. but that's a big, big deal. There is no federally mandated, full-paid, maternity leave in the US. American mother's are at the mercy of whatever their employer wants to offer and FMLA which only guarantees 2/3 of pay for 6 weeks. French mother's get 3 full months, paid. Childcare is not free to American mothers those 6 FMLA weeks; a good daycare for an infant 5 days a week can easily cost $2k a month or more. French mother's pay nothing more than their taxes for creche. There are not what's sounds like an army of free options to help a mother breastfeed, retighten and whatever after delivery for American mothers and preschools aren't necessarily free depending where you live, university isn't free for much later, etc. etc. French mother's have a lot of help.I'm with the whole well-behaved child, and not turning yourself into a muppet just to be mother i.e. giving up adult life and adult language but perhaps it is a bit easier to be that type of mother and raise that type of child when there's more state resources in a society that values and wants to protect motherhood rather than one that creates and obstacle course for women who want to be mothers and working professionals.I actually really enjoyed the book and plan on trying some techniques from it, but I could've done without Druckerman's classist, rose-colored "if only" take on motherhood, where she ignores hards truths and significant obstacles for American mothers.
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